Oh time, that elusive, twisty ticking that feels so intangible. Sometimes it flies. Sometimes it drags. Physicists attempt to explain its fluidity, that there is really only a present and that the past and future, because they only exist in our minds, are not real. Heady right? 

What I know is that mastering your time means mastering your life. 

I've learned I can slow it way down and I want to teach you to slow down, because we have a lot to accomplish in our days and get pulled inso many directions. The cruel trick is that we think we need to move faster, squeeze more in and multi-task the day away. But when we act in this way, we are at the end of a rope that is being tossed around uncontrollably. We are whipsawed. 

We don't even know what just happened to us, only that weare exhausted and spent. 

The real secret is slowing down, eliminating and doing one thing at a time until it is finished. And cultivating the ability to make fast decisions so that we are not spending so much time in our heads. 

Since this month's Wise Workshop is all about mastering time, setting SMART goals and knowing your personal vision, I thought we'd spend the next few weeks discussing some of these key strategies. If you have any time mastering tips to share, please do so on the Facebook Page! It's getting fun there, so come join us if you haven't already!

Slowing Down

I'm not quite sure how I feel about resolutions. I know we're supposed to assess our lives and decide what to take action on in the coming New Year, and I love the idea of visioning what we want to occur. But as one Wise Woman shared when I asked about the practice on Facebook, "resolutions born of realization and desire can work if you don't use them as a way to beat yourself up. In my experience, they work if you take baby steps. Some of mine have been effective. Some were just 'should's' that I didn't stick to."

I hate "should's" too. Besides, it gets boring having to resolve the same things every year... the same 10 pounds, the same debt paid off, the same promises to call our mothers more often.

What I love is the idea of the New Year. There is so much potential. So much opportunity. It's incredible, really, what can happen in the space of a year. Our children evolve before our eyes, and, hopefully so do we. Babies can be born, businesses can be born. We can take a small step that leads to a giant leap. 

You know her when you see her. She moves purposefully, her feet firmly on the ground. She is gracious, but doesn't make a lot of small talk. Her eyes light up when she speaks and she has a definite opinion. She is confident. She is vital. She is inspired.

Is she you?

It doesn't cost a thing to be inspired. We've seen stories of inspired women around the globe, some with significant financial resources, others with none.

The root meaning of the word inspire? "To breathe life into." Inspired women are full of life.

How do you get inspired? Many will tell you that you can read books or listen to motivational speakers. They will tell you a great story or send you a YouTube video. Maybe a quote?

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you my expanded vision for WISE: that together we are all WORTHY, INSPIRED, SUPPORTED and ENGAGED.

I want to get into the WORTH piece today, at least a little bit (because it's a BIG issue for us). I believe the need to feel worthy is the most difficult requirement in today's society for women. It is also the desire that is least often addressed or satisfied. It's almost gotten trite, this notion of self-worth. But cynicism around the idea does not change the need for it. And when I talk to women, it is so often the core of that sense that all of us have had... "this isn't enough, I'm not enough, I never have enough."

Let me start by saying: You are perfect. I'd like to say that one more time. You are perfect, just as you are. Are you able to accept that statement, or do you resist it? Does it bring tears to your eyes? That's not uncommon. I've met very few women who had full faith in their own worthiness. Our mistake is to believe that everything we've done "wrong" makes us unworthy. Our mistake is to believe that our mistakes define us. Our mistakes and our wrongs actually make us who we are - and are perfectly suited to what we can achieve with our lives. No mistakes = no lessons. No lessons = No growth. No growth = Stagnation. And we all know what happens to a stagnant pond. For humans, a stagnant life leads to self-loathing, boredom and destructive behaviors. We are not here to be stagnant. We are here to thrive.

So the very quick version of WISE is that I used to work in investment management. I really did not like my work so much... and after I had two children in 18 months, I wasn't even good at my work anymore. But, I was making significant money and the truth was, that quitting was not an option, at least from my hubbie, Michael's, point of view. So, I got fired.

And I thought I was done. I had my two babes at home. I started teaching an aerobics class (yes, I went from six-figures to $12/hour... two hours a week), and I THOUGHT that this was the answer to all of my problems. I could DVR all of the TV I wanted and watch all of it! I taught myself to crochet! I watched my kids play!

I was bored out of my mind. In hindsight, I'm quite sure I was depressed, not that anyone would have known. We women hide our truths so well.

So, with my happy-face on, I started to think that I might want to do something, that it might not be such a wise (or fair) decision to place the financial future of our family squarely on Michael's shoulders, that my four years of a world-class education and all my licensing and training as an investment professional should not lead to an obsession with Gray's Anatomy, and that toting toddlers around was a cop-out.

To BE Wise

As we swiftly enter into the New Year (2011?!?!? How did that happen??) a huge thank you for being a part of this dream. There is a book called the Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity which talks about finding your “impossible dream.” An impossible dream is so BIG…  so IDEALIZED that you have come to believe that it cannot possibly occur in your lifetime. It’s a dream that you may only be able to scratch the surface of, but in your effort of creating that scratch –  it changes you and gives you a truly prosperous life.

Wise is an impossible dream. It is the belief that every one of us, woman – man – child, should thrive. We must be self-reliant, confident and independent – especially when it comes to our four pillars – our health, our time, our money and our relationships.  Depending on others to hold up these pillars for us is not Wise – leaving them to chance isn’t either.

Too many women do not believe they are in charge. We see ourselves diminished, incapable, resigned, stressed and overwhelmed. We take care of everyone else and neglect ourselves. Or we disengage and become apathetic, and consumed with the trivial. We don’t believe that we are worth LOVING our life. What is heart breaking is when we don’t even think it’s possible to be happy and successful in EVERY aspect of our life. This is my mission – to do this no more, and to encourage other women to do this no more. And I hope you’ll join us.

One of the driving principles at Wise is that setting goals and moving toward them is the best way to achieve what you want out of life.  Without knowing your direction or planning for it, you’ll rarely end up in the place best suited to you.  Personally, we make our long and short term goals, and we get down to the nitty-gritty with own daily to do lists, much easier to work from and the means to our end result. We look at them occasionally, and gauge our progress.

There are so many words that are bounced around these days – words like Purpose, Passion, Happiness – meaningful, important words that are losing their power like a song that is played too often on the radio. But really, aren’t they the point? What else could we be here to do other than to be happy? To feel purposeful? To live passionate lives?

By Kiva at www.wiseworkshops.com

I've come to believe, as I'm sure you may too, that there are some books that choose you - that have a way of jumping off the bookshelf and into your lap, causing you to desire nothing else in your time with that book than to devour it.

The first time Eat, Pray, Love found me I didn't quite have this reaction. It was two years ago, maybe three - but I remember reading the first few pages and feeling absolutely nothing. I couldn't relate and there was no draw, no energy between me and those first few pages. I was a relatively new mother and the idea of a woman simply up and leaving her husband, her country, her friends, her comfort - was so beyond... well, me.

As women, we can relate.  We do relate.  Endlessly....but it's not idle chatter. We are relating to each other.  We relate to those we know, and those we don't.  We bear witness to one another's triumphs and milestones - a graduation, a second date!, getting married, a promotion, having a child, closing the big deal, running the marathon, returning to school, achieving what we have only dreamed of.  We stay present with one another admist our tragedies and losses - large and small.  And often we know exactly how it feels.  We know what to say, and it's usually more than "Whoa, that's harsh dude."  (No offense to some males in our lives whose standard reponse applies to every mishap from a broken down car, a broken leg, or the breakup of a marriage.)  We nurture those less forturnate, and console when it is called for. We are hardwired to do so, and it serves us well.  Across all generations and cultures, women have always found ways to come together, to connect, to build community. Sometimes it happens by default, but it always seems to happen.

Recently I heard a woman say "Book groups are really only the modern day quilting bees or sewing circles.  As women we need a reason to get together!"  The more I thought about it, the more it felt true.  Is it possible that a book group (or whatever we choose to participate in with other women) is only a front for what's really going on? Being there to talk about life, being present for one another, and building commuity with other women?  "Did he call?" "What did the doctor say?" "How are the kids doing with it all?"  "How are you doing? Really?"